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Letter to buba

Your were different

Most of the time I saw you, I saw you doing things, you were already 82yrs+ and still going at the difficult terrains and slides to clear up the bushes or get some baby bamboos to build some craft. Either you were sorting out the good vs bad crops and potatoes. You were always busy doing a work and that inspired me to go with you and collab. You never called anyone for help. You always said aaba yo kaam garam, it felt like you treated us like friends. Though you couldn’t walk straight, with crooked back you were continuously going to place and constantly doing something.

Stories

Your stories were real. You used to take us to places in your past and share things you did, struggles you overcame, relations you built. No matter how much troubles you had, you shared those stories with big laughter at the end. I am happy I recorded some of those so I could replay them, learn from them and feel refreshed. Your struggles and difficulties are very much unfathomable to us, but you were always grateful despite of all those suffering. I am happy your stories are and will be guiding me through my life.

grow your muscles and earn it

I am thankful to all the initiatives you took to educate your kids, you kept the teachers at home for home schooling/tuitions. You bought new clothes as a reward to your kids of the work they did. You built your houses from scratch in 1000 rupees. You went to india/assam and to coal mines. You used to say how much you wanted to see, paisa kasari rukh ma falcha. You were doer of a kind and your msg was clear, you can grow muscles and you can earn things that you want.

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you were very dynamic and smart

I am grateful how you tried your best to save your dad and how you educate yourself about superstitions and beliefs. The experiments you did with “jhakrai” to fix your dad’s health. You tested all the equations (boka chaudaune, jhakri kamnae) and ruled out what works and what doesn’t. What is a lie and what is the truth. You told me how these belief systems were made to employ people and society and you used to say Bhagwan ra rakxyas hami bhitrai chan, yo dharma, tyo dharma sabai manchae lae bhaneko gari khane bhando ho.

भगवान र राक्षस हाम्रै भित्र छन् ; यो धर्म र त्यो धर्म भन्नी सबै मान्छेले गरी खाने बनाएको भाँडो मात्र हो।

Your message was simple and clear. I salute your methods and conclusions about life.

You learned to read and write(sometime) at your 80s. I don’t know how much of characters you knew earlier, but reading two books every single day after you wake up as a prayer, it was very inspiring. I am sorry the font size was small on those books, but your eyes surprised me how fast you were reading off small credits and production crew names in tv screen for random youtube videos. Not only you used to wake up early but always taking a cold shower, change your clothes, take your meds and started reading books until your finish the both. I wonder how you learned those difficult sanskrit characters. Your discipline to life was always inspiring. You were trying to count the mala near to very last day you were breathing.

I still remember the days we were all grounded to a big hall after the earthquake. We (me and my brother) were so bored and playing a car race game on ipad. Initially grandpa, you were just watching us, later we asked you to play, I was surprised how well you played it, first few attempts you were locked into the game and moving the ipad to change direction, it was not easy game and you played it like champ. I wonder, what if you had opportunities like me during your prime age, what things you would have done by now.

You loved music, I wish we could learn to play maadal more. I still remember you were learning to play maadal that night on your own. You used to practice it at night times, I really loved your unique style of playing instruments

kindness and prayers

You were the symbol of dedication and offering. Things you believed in the prayers (shradha), you used to attend each one of them with full dedication. 1000s of days empty stomach, with small piece of cloth regardless of winter or rains, and head shaved, you used to do puja(shradha) to all who passed away. In act, it looked like your way to offer foods to them. Although you knew it won’t go to them, you wanted to remember them with a celebration. I am grateful you shared your msg clear, always remember your roots and offer them the prayers regardless.

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I remember you asking me for 200rps so you could give it to your friend who visited us at the rooftop. You were genuinely concerned about him. You didn’t have any money but you wanted to give.

Another story you shared, while you were going to India (obviously days of walks), you stayed at a random house. The old lady who gave you a place to stay had some chores to do. Next day instead of signing out, you and your friends decided to do all of their work (harvest crops, collect woods). She was very much surprised how well you guys did the job that she would be doing for days and weeks. I am grateful for your random act of kindness.

Things I wish i could go back and change

You shared a story once, why you started smoking. It was not because you liked it or had habit of. While you were working on a rice field, you would get the break if you are smoking. You were always moving first in the line and working more because you didn’t smoke. You started smoking just to take a break. But sadly that thing developed into a COPD that took you away from us. I wish you had someone to guide you that smoking kills your lungs.

I want to write more but my eyes are tired, I will try to remember more about you, its a privilege to be your grandson. Will write more…

Farewell Grandpa

You will always be with us in our memories. And your love would always guide us through this life.

• always be truthful
• work hard
• grow your muscles, learning never stops
• you can earn it
• brothers don’t fight for money or greed
• act louder than you can speak
• your children are your friends

Thank your for this wonderful life mero bhagwan🙏

Please bless us with kindness, love and grace. Either, you come to us in new life form or will see you in 60yrs or less ♥️

I will always call you as: बल देउ भीमसेन!!, please visit me in my dreams🙇🏻‍♂️!!